The Search for Who You Are

September 5, 2012

in Confessions

The search for who we are really never ends.  We constantly have to redefine who we are because things change, people change, the landscape changes, the seasons change.

The main thing we need to remember is that at the core, we are still the same people, just with new experiences, new ideas, remembering of old ideas. We may find new passions or rekindle old ones. You may have forgotten that as a kid, you loved to run, then some day, many years later, you find that joy again. Maybe its painting, writing, building. The point is that new things, new places, new paths, they don't change your core.

You are still you.

I love watching the passion my kids have for the things in their lives. I watch them learning new karate moves and wonder why I couldn't find it in me as a kid to stick with dance.

I listen to their dreams for when they grow up and encourage them. Big Brother wants to make video games and Little Brother wants to be a doctor. Along the way as they grow up, they may lose sight of the things that made them want to grow up to be video game designers and doctors, but I hope they never lose the wonder they once had at the people who do those things, the ideas that first sparked their interest.

I'm at a point in my life where things are changing, have been changing. Sometimes that can make you feel like you have lost who you are as a person. What I realized though is I haven't lost that. I still know exactly who I am. So I went back to basics. I pulled out my old poetry textbook with its dogeared pages and started from the beginning. What I found in those old pages was wonder. I found my excitement at rereading some of my old favorite poems that turned me on to the language of poetry in the first place. I found that desire to put words on paper and have them turn into music.

I can't say that rereading a few pages in an old book cleared up all of the cobwebs and questions in my mind because it didn't. What I can say is that sometimes you have to go back to the basics to start getting solid footing again. To start putting your feet back on a determined path.

Everyone is going to feel lost from time to time. But you aren't lost, you just need to rediscover your sense of wonder.