My Heros Keep Dying

May 28, 2014

in Confessions

In 2010 I lost Ai.
In 2012 Adrienne.
Now I’ve lost Maya.

My heros keep dying.

And I know that tonight I will surround myself
With their words, the parts of them that live on
And I will cry tears that have no words.

These women, my inspiration, my forefathers,
foremothers, worked and bled and poured
out their souls so that I could do the same.

Ai said to me, “To write poetry is to pull your soul
out of your mouth, drop it on a blank page,
and sort it out the best that you can.”

But when my soul bleeds, I shut my mouth,
squeeze my eyes tight, and swallow it whole.
I cry no tears. I write no words.

I want to dive into the wreck with Adrienne,
to stare, unflinching at my raw edges with Ai,
to sing, to love, to live unapologetically with Maya.

So I will sit down with these women,
their extraordinary lives, their poems,
and learn to cry tears with words.

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Lindsey Renuard is a blogger, YouTube beauty expert, and the Managing Editor of the Skiatook Journal.

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