I hate buying tampons.
I mean I really hate it and I get embarrassed unless the cashier is at least 30 and female. And then I still get embarrassed. Will she secretly poke fun of me in her head because I have chosen to buy the store brand? Will she think it gross that I am buying super plus when she only needs regular?
I know I’m way over thinking this, but you are talking to a girl who in high school drove to her best friend’s house to pick her up, take her to the store, and WAIT IN THE CAR, while sane and adjusted best friend went inside to buy tampons.
My mom was out of town.
I have finally learned to buy my own tampons, but I will wait in the longer line at Walmart to get a female cashier.
Yesterday I needed to buy tampons and Imodium. I was seriously dreading this trip.
I stopped at Walgreens after work. The last few months the cashier at this time of day has been a sweet old lady in her 70s I would guess. Perfectly safe.
I went through Walgreens and picked up my necessary items and headed to the check stand.
The regular cashier wasn’t there.
The replacement cashier was a sixteen or seventeen year old BOY! A BOY! And a teenage boy.
I died three or four times on the way to the cash register. I think I even threw up a little.
How is it that I can change dirty diapers, tell an Army Colonel no, and basically do anything else I set my mind to, but buying tampons and poop correction products terrifies me to the bone.
I took a deep breath, thought about just hiding my basket somewhere and leaving, and went to the counter.
I didn’t look at his face while he rang up my purchase. I pretended to be interested in the celebrity gossip magazines.
As he handed me my receipt he said, “Love your tat.”
Normally I love that compliment, but not today.
I can never ever shop at that Walgreens again because some teenage boy will see me and think that’s the chick that needed super plus tampons and had diarrhea.
And please don’t leave comments telling me I’m ridiculous. I already know that.
And I’m not getting therapy for my fear of buying tampons. Is there an actual name for that? Buytamponaphobia?
When is menopause again?
{ 12 comments }
Poop correction products…bwhahaha! Totally am with you …I am nearly 40 and still hide any butt or girly equipment products safely under the produce!
Twitter: alittlenoshblog
July 22, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Totally cracking up over here.
Twitter: SweetMJ
July 22, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I am not laughing. I swear I am not laughing. Ok I am laughing but you are thinking about this all wrong. What you need to do is figure out what combination of items can you buy that will freak out the cashier, like tampons, motor oil, condoms and whip cream. Think of the fun them.
And I have had to go to the store to buy those 2 items at the same time also I just added cheese in a can and a thong to it. Then I get to laugh about it.
I used to be embarassed to buy maxipads/tampons when I was younger but it's not much of an issue now. Most of the times when I up there are the counter with my survival kit, the cashier is nice enough to "hope I get better" and males usually say, "good luck." Go figure.
Hilarious, and TOTALLY! I'm always super awkward buying this stuff. When hubs and I were preparing to start baby-making, I had to buy condoms and pregnancy tests at the same time. I kind of wnated to die. I seriously considered just buying it on Amazon.
It never gets totally comfortable. I don't know why. Half the world's population needs them at some point.
Twitter: inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com
July 31, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Coming via Studio 30, now following.
Just yesterday I "hid" my embarrassing items under other items at Target. I am even too embarrassed to tell you what the items were because they were even worse than tampons or stomach meds.
Not making eye contact,
jill http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com
Twitter: PBlvr2
August 3, 2011 at 12:09 am
What a hoot! Thanks for making my night. I generally don't like to go buy them either. Tampons I have never used. Pads Always.
Twitter: baby_blogger
August 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm
So funny thank you so much for the mood booster
I see now that it is normal for me to hide my "stuff" under my other groceries in my basket.
Twitter: Geminisupermom
January 13, 2012 at 9:11 am
I absolutely LOVE this post! HA larious!!!! I can defitnitely relate, and I appreciate you sharing. I am visiting from #FlashbackFriday with @Chasingjoy
Ohhhh I hate buying tampons! I thought it was just me… I don't have the Buytampnaphopia – thank goodness – but I still hate it! I'm visiting from Chasing Joy – enjoyed this post. Have a great weekend!
Twitter: Bewilderedbug
January 13, 2012 at 7:21 pm
I know you specifically said don’t say this but I am a rebel – so wow – you are weird!!!!
Just joking.
My comments really are:
1) your Mom bought you tampons when you were a teenager? I STILL don’t admit to my Mom that stuff gets stuffed up in there – and she doesn’t ask (even though I am now married)….okay I lie – she has asked once or twice – but my response is to run far far away.
2) didn’t it HURT when you were a teenager and tried pushing tampons up there?!?! And finally…
3)You are not that bad. I still can’t buy contraceptives without being completely engrossed in the token magazine that is a necessary buy at that time…..which means I will now join you in the ‘I am so ashamed seat’..
Bewildered Bug recently posted..Quickie post: A moment of human weakness?
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