10 Types of People on Facebook

January 25, 2012

in Lifestyle

If you have spent any time on Facebook, you know that it isn't that much different from The Breakfast Club. Stereotypes abound. I'm sure you have some of these types of people as your Facebook friends. You may even BE one of these people. You may need to unfriend some of these people.

1. The Lurker – This person never posts anything. Never likes anything. Never comments on anything. However, in casual conversation they will mention, "Oh yeah, I saw you had posted that on Facebook." You know they are there, but they leave no trace evidence.

2. The Stalker – The stalker is not that much different from the lurker. You know they are there. You know they read EVERYTHING you post. They may even mention it to others in face-to-face conversations. They look at all your photos. They look up people tagged in your photos. They may even send you chat messages or post on your wall – a lot. As with stalkers in real life, the Facebook stalker must be gotten rid of. Stalking is a crime out here in the real world. My suggestion – block them.

3. The Hijacker – Have you ever posted something on Facebook only to find that the thread has been taken over by someone else? They may just take over the conversation or they may change the subject entirely. They may even steal your status and post it as their own. Your status was hijacked. If it keeps happening, unfriend them or block them.

4. The Attention Seeker – The attention seeker posts cryptic comments like, "I told you so, you know who you are," in the hopes that people will fall into their trap and ask what happened.They never do tell the rest of the story. Other posts that fall into this category are those that post if you are my friend you will repost this posts. I even saw one yesterday that blatantly said, "I'm having a bad day. Like this post to make me feel better!"

5. The Promoter – This Facebooker only posts links to his/her blog, or invites you to every concert, or only posts about Mary Kay or Scentsy or For Ladies Only. I don't mind shameless self-promotion, but use a fan page for that, not your personal profile. By the way, you should like the Dishwater Dreams Facebook page!

6. The gamer – Tends virtual crops, belongs to the virtual mafia, and answers surveys like how are you going to die or which Twilight character are you. Facebook games are fun, but everything in moderation. When my news feed is full of nothing but posts from one person about one game, it gets annoying.

7. The preacher – This optimist only posts inspirational quotes or anything related to God. I love God. He is totally awesome. I love inspirational quotes too. Just don't make it the only think your Facebook account is about. Or, get a fan page.

8. The Drunk – While great for entertainment late at night, or in some extreme cases by 10am, the drunk only posts when they have had one too many. Posts often need a cypher to understand and can be very angry. It is suggested that you advise your friend against drunk Facebooking. If you ARE the drunk I highly recommend quitting. Drinking. Not Facebooking. Or don't drink and Facebook. Then you don't have to wake up and try to delete drunken posts all your friends already saw anyway.

9. The Whiner – Every post is about how horrible their life is. How much it hurts or sucks to be them. They post cryptic comments like, "I told you, you know who you are," in the hopes that people will fall into their trap and ask what happened. They also tend to over share personal details. I don't need to know about your bathroom habits. However, if you live in a duplex and your neighbor farted so loud it scared your cat, then post away. (Yes, that was an actual status update.)

10. The Poor Grammarian – This is the person who spells so badly that you want to ask how on Earth they can not write simple sentences in their native language. Punctuation is ignored or abused. Even if you are using a smart phone to post to Facebook, they have spell check! They have auto correct. They have qwerty keyboards. At least TRY to spell correctly! Please. For me?

Which type of facebooker are you?