I'm sad that one of the women I really look up to in this world has died. I am even more sad that there is one less poet in this world. One less person to look at the world and write beautiful explanations of life. There are so few poets left and even fewer people who read poetry.
I am at a loss for words. Ai, now Adrienne Rich. My heros are slowly leaving this earth. I am at a loss for words so I will leave you with Rich's instead.
Diving Into the Wreck
First having read the book of myths,
and loaded the camera,
and checked the edge of the knife-blade,
I put on
the body-armor of black rubber
the absurd flippers
the grave and awkward mask.
I am having to do this
not like Cousteau with his
assiduous team
aboard the sun-flooded schooner
but here alone.
There is a ladder.
The ladder is always there
hanging innocently
close to the side of the schooner.
We know what it is for,
we who have used it.
Otherwise
it is a piece of maritime floss
some sundry equipment.
I go down.
Rung after rung and still
the oxygen immerses me
the blue light
the clear atoms
of our human air.
I go down.
My flippers cripple me,
I crawl like an insect down the ladder
and there is no one
to tell me when the ocean
will begin.
First the air is blue and then
it is bluer and then green and then
black I am blacking out and yet
my mask is powerful
it pumps my blood with power
the sea is another story
the sea is not a question of power
I have to learn alone
to turn my body without force
in the deep element.
And now: it is easy to forget
what I came for
among so many who have always
lived here
swaying their crenellated fans
between the reefs
and besides
you breathe differently down here.
I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail.
I stroke the beam of my lamp
slowly along the flank
of something more permanent
than fish or weed
the thing I came for:
the wreck and not the story of the wreck
the thing itself and not the myth
the drowned face always staring
toward the sun
the evidence of damage
worn by salt and sway into this threadbare beauty
the ribs of the disaster
curving their assertion
among the tentative haunters.
This is the place.
And I am here, the mermaid whose dark hair
streams black, the merman in his armored body.
We circle silently
about the wreck
we dive into the hold.
I am she: I am he
whose drowned face sleeps with open eyes
whose breasts still bear the stress
whose silver, copper, vermeil cargo lies
obscurely inside barrels
half-wedged and left to rot
we are the half-destroyed instruments
that once held to a course
the water-eaten log
the fouled compass
We are, I am, you are
by cowardice or courage
the one who find our way
back to this scene
carrying a knife, a camera
a book of myths
in which
our names do not appear.
Thursday's mean Mama Kat's Writing Workshop. Yeah! Here is the prompt I chose this week. Read the quote and let it inspire your post: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". -Maya Angelou
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For a first step out from the broken world, bandaged with sterile walls, healed from death. A solitary decision. Placed my hands, hesitant, one on his back and one on his chest.
Bracing him. Bracing
me. Walk him step by step in
shoes without laces
Favorite comfort short now name tagged into the chill of November. Take these steps toward home.
You still have a choice.
We can’t go back to the empty.
We still can have time.
Our life painted black. Choose to paint is blue golden white. Smash the dishes. Bang down the pots. Topple the sofa. Eyes in slits seeing only the today and the next today. Come back. Place one hand on your chest and one on your back. Reign in the pain – the loss of yesterday – the loss of last week – the loss of seventeen – the loss of thirteen – the loss of six. Let me hold you as you fall and grieve. As you eyes widen to tomorrow. Breathe out in tears the loss of tomorrow.
In the depth, I will
remain nearby as you mourn
decide to call love
Love. Love. Love. Removes my hand from his chest and the wound drips. Catches in his throat. He calls love. It is time to come home. Paint healing on the skin of our arms.
Deborah Garrison is the stereotypical 30ish, educated, working woman who thinks that all her problems will be solved when she meets the right man.In A Working Girl Can’t Win and Other Poems she takes us through the perils of office politics, the sanctity of female friendship, and the trials of finding the right man.Through her poetry she discovers that even if you do find the right man, all of life’s problems will not miraculously be solved.Your lousy boss is still a lousy boss, your parents words still echo even after they can’t have any input into your life anymore, and marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Deborah Garrison’s confessions, though somewhat disheartening, have become a battle cry for professional single women everywhere.Her independent mindedness has turned her into a modern heroine and her poems into mantras.In “Fight Song” she writes:
Sometimes you have to say it:
Fuck them all.
Yes fuck them all—
the artsy posers,
the office blowhards
and brown-nosers;
Fuck the type who gets the job done
and the type who stands on principle;
the down-to-earth and understated;
the overhyped and underrated.
Everyone who has ever walked out of their house can identify with the frustration of people who make life more difficult for those trying to get ahead and do their job well.“You can’t be nice to everyone.”This narrative style is not the symbolist, flowery verse that is what poetry is known for.It is matter of fact, in your face truth.Though slightly vulgar at times, her poetry is exactly the thing that poetry needs to bring it down to a level that the majority can understand and appreciate.
That isn’t to say that her poetry is without the qualities that make a piece of writing poetry and not prose.The narrative style of the poems just makes it seem so easy a feat to accomplish that many of her literary talents can be overlooked.“She Was Waiting to Be Told” has sneaking rhymes haunting images.It is a poem that does what poems are supposed to do: it makes you think.The poem revolves around the theme that marriage isn’t all its cracked up to be.
For you she learned to wear a short black slip
and red lipstick,
how to order a glass of red wine
and finish it. She learned to reach out
as if to touch your arm and then not
touch it, changing the subject.
Didn’t you think, she’d begin, or
Weren’t you sorry….
The image of the married woman “behaving herself” in public is powerful.This woman is sexy, but not confident.She is an accessory to the man she is with, her husband.She is present only to make him look good.
To call your best friends
by their schoolboy names
and give them kisses good-bye,
to look away when they say
Your wife! So your confidence grows.
She doesn’t ask what you want
because she knows.
Isn’t that what you think?
Finding the right man doesn’t solve her problems because the woman has lost her
identity.She has become a part of his world and not an individual.Her opinion doesn’t count.Their conversation centers on his ideas and opinion.The woman in the poem doesn’t even get to tell her own story.It is told in the third person by an outside observer.The narrator does take up the cause of this lost woman by presenting this disheartening picture of her marriage.The final stanza to this poem even takes away the woman’s own body.It has ceased to become hers and is the property of her husband.
When actually she was only waiting
to be told Take off your dress—
to be stunned, and then do this,
never rehearsed, but perfectly obvious:
in one motion up, over, gone,
the X of her arms crossing and uncrossing,
her face flashing away from you in the fabric
so that you couldn’t say if she was
appearing or disappearing.
This is not the only poem of the collection that focuses of the doldrums of marriage.“3:00 A.M. Comedy” also presents the picture of a woman who is lost in the shadow of her husband.
Sometimes it’s funny, the after-hour when
whatever hasn’t happened between us
hasn’t happened again, and I pretend
to be another kind of woman, who spends
the night on the couch in a rage,
on strike for affection—
…
The last woman on earth
who even bothered about sex,
and now I’m nothing but a speck.
Lust.It is a common ground between the women who speak in this collection of poems.“An Idle Thought” combines the disappointment of marriage and the desire for something more.Though many of the women in Garrison’s poems have lost their identities to men they are fully aware of the sexual power that they hold.
I am never going to sleep
with Martin Amis
or anyone famous.
At twenty-one I scotched
my chance to be
one of the seductresses
of the century,
a vamp on the rise through the ranks
of literary Gods and military men,
who wouldn’t stop at the President:
she’d take the Pentagon by storm
in halter dress and rhinestone extras,
letting fly the breasts that shatter
crystal—then dump him too,
and break his power-broker heart.
Garrison’s women, or in fact Garrison herself, is always questioning the woman that she is, the woman she has become.She constantly wonder’s if there is something else out there, something else that will fulfill her desires and make her complete.In the title poem, “A Working Girl Can’t Win,” she laments over what she thinks that will be her lasting legacy.Is she a slut?A loyal daughter?Successful?Who will she be?Will anyone read her stories?Will anyone know who she is?“Either way, we’ll move on, and she’ll tire/ before long: only her children will grieve/ at the way she was wronged.”
It seems that nothing can end well, especially with men, but also in the workplace.“Please Fire Me” combines all of the problems that Garrison encounters in her musings.She defines her view of men, the workplace, and the world in general, but it isn’t a pretty sight.It is harsh and realistic.The woman is undervalued and underappreciated.Her position in the workplace is perilous.She is expected to join the rank of men in order to survive, but that is not the nature of women.She has become trite.It again expresses a detachment of the woman from the actual place and events, though this time it is a desired separation.In essence, she gives up and accepts that she can not be a part of the professional male world, though she realizes that it is necessary.
Here comes another alpha male,
and all the other alphas
are snorting and pawing,
kicking up puffs of acrid dust
while silly little hens
clatter back and forth
on quivering claws and raise
a titter about the fuss.
Here comes another alpha male—
a man’s man, a dealmaker,
hold tanks of liquor,
charms them pantless at lunch:
I’ve never been sicker.
Do I have to stare into his eyes
and sympathize?If I want my job
I do.Well I think I’m through
with the working world,
through with warming eggs
and being Zenlike in my detachment
from all things Ego.
I’d like to go
somewhere else entirely,
and I don’t mean
Europe.
There is one poem in this collection that is not despairing, but attractive to the 30ish professional woman.“Long Weekend at Your House” is not a dirge, but a celebration.In a woman’s life there is one place where the trials of life melt away and everything will be alright.That place is in the companionship of female friends.This poem is nostalgic.The present is intermingled with the past to make a serene escape.It is a love poem, though not lusty.It is a poem about wanting to be someone else, though without jealousy.
Strands of wind move
through your house
like the finest blond hair,
like your hair.
The porch needs painting
peels its white skin in the sun.
We eat breakfast out here, although
it is nearly fall, and too cold.
…
All this you are heir to.
Of course I want to be you.
Inside the brown spines of books
your parents must have read
in their stormiest season.
At night I sink into their bed
and sleep.
In this poem the women are together, but there is no animosity, no stress, and no expectation.They are allowed to just be.Garrison had to step outside of the professional world and stop looking for the right man to achieve complete comfort and acceptance of the woman she is.